scary-eyed man
possibly the main character. cunning and stealthy, with scary eyes and a tendency towards ultraviolence, scary-eyed man is not to be messed with, allegedly.
8 deaths (last death: 14/02/03)
fred
idiotic best friend, room-mate and sidekick of scary-eyed man. not that that stops them from killing each other repeatedly...
11 deaths (last death: 07/02/03)
the artist
the obligatory artist self-insertion character. a stupid, shallow, insane, bizarre, vain, grotesque parody of an "artist" who speaks with a french accent for some unknown reason. his influences include david "gronky" gronterman and satan himself.
7 deaths (last death: 09/05/03)
neil kinnock
possibly a tv newsreader and wife of scary-eyed man, but few things are ever consistent in this comic so who can tell? her parents were unusually cruel and sadistic. and on fire.
3 deaths (last death: 27/11/02)
andrew wk
party-loving new york rocker. often derided by other characters for his limited vocabulary, but he has a heart of gold.
5 deaths (last death: 11/04/03)
"pat" morita
the worlds greatest actor rules the land of bobzilla like a benevolent god. except for his occasional excursions into supervillainy. but hey, everyone has their little hobbies...
5 deaths (last death: 11/04/03)
president box
seeking a replacement for george w bush, the american people voted in a slightly dog-eared talking cardboard box. accusations of vote-rigging were quickly resolved when it was pointed out that nearly 100% of voters had indeed "ticked the box".
no deaths
disinfectant man
an all-american (or british or surinamese or wherever) hero if ever there was one, disinfectant man patrols the streets at night in his fetching purple costume, disinfecting dastardly criminals and innocent passers-by indiscriminately. his secret identity is a closely-guarded secret...
no deaths
crime-fighting ninja cows
animated heroes of americas favourite thursday morning cartoon, the crime fighting ninja cows have captured the hearts of several with their lovable (and patriotic) antics making the world safe from terrorism. hooray!!
no deaths
richard nixon
the notorious ex-president now spends his days wearing a silly hat and plotting a dastardly return to power. in the meantime, he likes making the lives of scary-eyed man, fred and the rest of the gang more irritating. boo! hiss!
3 deaths (last death: 03/09/02)
evil mcdeathgrinder
is he an evil mastermind? is he a death metal guitarist? actually hes both, often at the same time. arch-enemy of the crime-fighting ninja cows and legendary guitarist from MEAT PUPPET AND THE DEATHGRINDERS, do his talents never start?
no deaths
bobzilla
the eponymous bobzilla is a 50-foot paper dinosaur who can breathe fire but usually doesnt because he sets fire to himself. he enjoys knitting and destroying tokyo.
1 death (last death: 06/10/02)
